The Beginning of Our War
by gee.nine
Summary: Discovering a chance to meet his old friend, Bumblebee finds himself stuck in an unusual fate sewn by an unusual child. Coping with all the confusion and the inner turmoil, how will he ever find peace with the one he truly loves? SLASH, M/M
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a rewritten version of my older fic of a different name, that goes by **_Please, Let Him Go Back_**. Takes place between the 2007 movie line and the 2009 ROTF, don't know if this is considered as an AU. For those who are familiar with the story, please don't hesitate to tell me if this is better. For those who are not, I hope you enjoy this story.

Some characters are taken from the G1 continuity, but will major in the 2007 movie version.

Pairings: [romance will come way later in the story] Bee/Jazz and many other minor ones.

* * *

It was in the middle of the night when Bumblebee's tanks gurgled restlessly. He hadn't consumed energon properly for the past few days, and it was really affecting his whole system. He sighed at this, after 2 weeks of searching and recruiting the few Autobots that has just landed, he had came back from Europe via aircraft carrier, and since then he has been feeling this thing the humans called '_jet lag'_. His processor works more actively in the nighttime than the daylight and his fuel tanks aren't filled as regularly as it should have been. For that he got clumsier with his duty and groggy with his thinking, he was relieved of his responsibility from being Sam's guardian. Temporarily of course.

But Bumblebee wasn't pleased.

At all.

The yellow Camaro could only restore his current state to normal and then he would be able to do his normal task. This includes plenty of wake up calls in the day and many sleeping injections in the night. But doing so is easier if human, but if you're a giant alien robot…

And with this famish state of mind, he wasn't about to keep track of the schedule.

With a grunt he lift himself up from his berth and started to make his way to the medical bay, where the energon supply is located and watched by a fairly large and dangerous medic. The huge, dark and silent hall of their base is uncomfortable to him, he's starting to think watching horror films on Friday nights isn't such a good idea anymore. He isn't superstitious, but he couldn't help but find the human concept of a blood sucking dead looking person that turns to a creepy creature very disturbing.

And it has night vision goggles too.

He gave a slight shiver. The more he thinks of it, the more panic he gets. The more he panics, the more he's getting delusional. And the more he gets delusional, the more fear penetrates his mind, and the cycle continues. Turning on his headlights doesn't help much for he played thriller games with the same point of view he is in now.

'Just a few more meters, just a few more meters, just a few more meters.' He thought over and over again.

'Primus why does this place have to be so dark, why does cannibalism have to be real, why the pit did Sam watch those films?'

More thoughts, more panicking.

'Just a few more meters, just a few more meters, just a few more meters, just a few more meters'

He repeated the thought like a mantra, trying his hardest to convince himself that he would be safe in just a matter of moments. However, his attempts were futile as he started to _feel_ unseen eyes stalking him.

He finally snapped to his imagination and ran.

And boy did he run. Calculations have stated that his speed reached about 86.4 km/h. But to his dismay he crashed into the door of the med bay (haha rhymes). Fact is, he ran a 20-meter dash instead of the 100 meters in his mind.

The door slid open with a flat-faced Camaro dazed from the impact, and a very piqued Ratchet, whose glare can probably choke anyone to death, peering at him.

"So polite of you to knock Bumblebee." Ratchet dryly, annoyed from being disturbed, but oddly, he does not look sleepy at all.

"Now what is it that you want _now_?"

Bumblebee laughed faintly and said something so soft the medic strained his receptors to catch it.

"What?"

He said it again, but ends up in gibberish.

"Say it again but louder." He said irritated.

And again still more gibberish.

"Primus damn it, SPEAK UP BOY!" Ratchet practically screamed.

"I SAID I NEED ENERGON FOR MY FUEL TANK, SIR!"

Bumblebee had straightened out of fear of the medic's tone and screamed it just as loud.

There was an awkward silence between them. From what though, they're not really sure what.

"No." The medic finally spoke.

"Whaat?"

"If you eat now you'll get energize and won't be sleeping until morning comes." He gruffly said and went back to the datapad he was reading.

"Aww Ratch! Can't I just have a little sip? My fuel tanks reeeally needs something." The yellow mech tried reasoning. "'Cause if I don't have some I wouldn't go to sleep anyways 'cause _this_ will keep slagging rumbling!" He said while pointing at his stomach region.

And as if on cue, his abdomen growled rather loudly. Ratchet groaned and rubbed his nasal ridge, he really hates using his processors this late.

"Okay then, why don't you go drink half a ratio and then I'll shoot the sedative on you." The medic sighed.

Bumblebee slightly shivers at the mentioning of the sedative but he nodded.

"Wait here while I get the things. And for the love of Primus, don't slagging touch anything."

With those words Ratchet disappears to the back of the med bay. He wouldn't trust the scout on getting the energon himself. In the meanwhile, Bumblebee crossed his arms and sat sleepily on the medical table beside the wall as he waits for the Hummer. He shuttered his optics off, the fatigue starting to take its toll again. The mech really is tired, but his stomach growled, waking him from his short nap. He cursed slightly to this and leaned unto the wall, unknowingly pressing a few button with his weight.

It was no surprise that he jerked at a monotonous sound of "**INCORRECT PASSWORD**"

He would have blasted the thing square off the wall if it weren't for the fast reaction of his sensory detector. The almost camouflaged looking console is glaring at him with the silent red beeps of its light. Bumblebee sighed, this must be one of Ratchet's hidden keyboards to a medical drawer, and the medic has so many of those to keep intruding mechs or humans from taking his highly limited medicine stock. Of course, he never really got a good look of them. Bumblebee remembered how a certain red hellion tried to take a peek and ended up getting a very large dent across his forehead… and other sort of injuries…

They needed to make an emergency operation.

He chuckled at the thought, but it disappeared as he recalled a certain topic they discussed, one where he overheard.

**-flashback-**

_Sideswipe is hurt, very, very hurt. His head throbbed, his left optic blind, arms twisted a little, and it hurts so much just thinking about it. At least he is out of serious danger._

_No thanks to that slagging medic._

_It felt horrible being in the emergency room, lots and lots of cables, needles and screens. So many beeping and ksshing and zzzzzting and blah, all of it is confusing. The Lamborghini groaned at the mere thought of it, even the various utensils make him want to purge his empty tanks._

"_Sideswipe."_

_A voice pulled him out of his thoughts._

_It was Ratchet._

_Great…_

"_Oh hey Ratch –twitch-…" The red mech looked over at the Hummer cautiously. He seemed harmless but he kept his guard up. "Is there anything wrong?"_

"_No," Ratchet made a gesture that looked like he rolled his eyes, "What makes you say that?" Sideswipe relaxed and shrugged. "Well anyways, the results of the diagnosis of your processor came out positive. Your body needs to be out of action for a while though, but other than that you're good to leave the med bay."_

"_Oh great!" Sideswipe happily exclaimed while jumping out of the bed, which proved to be a bad idea and slumped back on the berth with a groan._

"_Hey, hey, take it easy!" Ratchet scolded him with a growl, "You might be fine but you still need to be careful."_

_The Lamborghini grumbled. "Does it still mean I have to be here?"_

"_Not necessarily," The medic said while putting the datapad away. "But if you are that careless about the condition of your processor then I suggest you stay for another 24 hour."_

_.. "Aw hell no. I'm very much capable of taking care of myself."_

"_Suite yourself then. Don't come crying to me if your central nervous system shuts down." Ratchet said with a shrug. "But I warn you Sideswipe, if I ever see you and your pansy ass back here trying to get in _that_ room again," His optics turned icy and voice low with a growl "I'll make sure you're properly built into a toaster, strapped to a dead carcass, " His fingers dug at a corner of a counter, "and threw to the deepest, darkest –sickest- part of the world, and let you rust till pigs fly." With that he dented the counter's end._

_Sideswipe shuddered and optics darkens with slight fear. If he could gulp he'd probably be doing it right now, but his face is kept still and nodded._

"_I know, I know, rat on you and there will be a toaster grave. I just hope that you'll be able to finish what you started." He got up slowly and walked towards the exit, before he step outside, he murmured softly "But don't overdo yourself, Primus knows what could happen to everyone if their medic isn't capable on doing his work."_

_The door slid shut, and the red mech missed the medic's reply._

"_I just miss him… so much"_

_Unknowingly, a certain striped Camaro heard it._

**-flashback ends-**

Curiosity suddenly poked at him with a stick, a very large one at that.

"_Hack it…. Hack it…."_

An odd voice purred at him. Bumblebee slightly grimaced.

Who the hell-

"_Come on… there's no harm in looking."_

The yellow scout is silent for a moment, his tired processor racing. Would this really be a good idea to try and hack the console and see what it would show? Would risking Ratchet's undeniably life-threatening vengeance be worth it? Would doing this unravel something the medic is possibly hiding?

Pffft, of course not, there's nothing but medicines right? No corpse or something… He shook his head roughly, trying to convince himself that there are just medicines. He's just curious on which drawer it would open, that's right, he just wants to know what kind of doohickeys Ratchet actually kept. He gave a slight shiver at the thought of scalpels, needles and saws.

But it still kept incisively poking. Persuading him that it is something different. That this console is the one that will reveal him the… body…

He shook again.

Doing this will definitely risk is arm chopped off, at the _least_.

But still…

"Hey Bee!" Ratchet called at him from the other room.

He turned around with a zip, almost breaking his neck.

"Y-es?" He cursed silently for stuttering.

"Is it ok if you wait for a little while longer? The energon dispenser isn't working right."

Despite Bumblebee's loud grumble of his stomach, he replied, and with a little too much glee, "Yeah, s'okay. Just take your time. It's not like I'll go anywhere with this stomach." He laughed dryly.

Somehow, in the back of his mind, he heard Ratchet face palming.

And just like that, the scout heeded to the cat of his curiosity and extended his thinner and longer fingers from his bulkier ones and plucked a cable to the port of the console. Huge hordes of data came rushing through his processor, the numbers 1 and 0 coming and going, and he scanned every one of them, searching for the correct figures, typing rapidly on the keyboard. Seconds passed by and it felt like hours for him. A few warning windows popped up to his processor, and before he knew it, his systems numbed.

Bumblebee stifled a yell as the console shocked him with electricity, a 'ting' sound was made, and for a moment he thought that he had made a mistake and accidentally overridden it. He felt his spark fell from its chamber, but the telltale sound of "**PASSWORD GRANTED**" made him almost literally jump with relief.

Primus knows what would happen to him if Ratchet founds out he overrode the console.

There was a hiss and he snapped his head to the source of the noise. Immediately his optics widen as what he is seeing is not what he is expecting. Instead of the small drawer he presume to come out, the cabinets shifted about and reveals a door, where it leads he rather not know.

But his curiosity purrs at him.

"_Go one… you know you want to…"_

Its soft velvety like voice tempting him

"_Don't you want to know what lies behind it? What secret it has?"_

The scout's fingers twitched, doorwings drooping and antennas held high. His optics narrowed, his glossa slipped out of his mouth and licked his lower lip component, processor stirring in unease.

"_Come now… I promise it'll be worth it. Or are you just not that interested?"_

It hissed at him and his faced turned into a scowl. It's weird, being intimidated with a small voice in his head, like its power over him is more immense than Megatron himself…

Okay so maybe not Megatron but definitely strong to say the least.

With five long strides he reached the door, with a press of a button the door slid open, and with a determined mind in set, he languidly walked towards the darkness. Bumblebee's tanks kept quiet though it churns slightly at his anxiety. As his optics adjusted to the dark environment he was able to make out the objects before him in this… daftly cramped up space.

There's nothing but a small dim light, illuminating something.

Something small, something metallic, something Cybertronian…

Something grey.

Grey?

Grey…

Grey!

Holy fucking slag.

"Bumblebee!"

The thrilling shriek didn't snap him out of his daze, he hardly even felt the hand that pulled him, nor the shouting between two mechs. Everything in the world seems to halt as he stared at the body before him, stunned at this revelation. He heard a voice, small and unfamiliar, he didn't realize it was his own croaking voice.

"Jazz?"


	2. Chapter 2

Whew, second chapter already?

Disclaimer: Hasbro

* * *

Bumblebee squirmed in his sleep, his systems are fully offline but his subconscious is fully awake. Torrents of emotions, random images flashing, and lost memories found. His spark churned, 2 years have past since the battle at Mission City and he had nearly forgotten all of the memory of his best friend. One particular event was replayed in his mind. While unconsciously lowering his barrier, he let all his past emotions consume him, letting them replay that memory that haunted him the most. The time where he made his mistake.

**0o0o0**

"_Hey Bee!"_

_Jazz shouted to me as he sped up to match my velocity. Even in our alt-mode I can feel him giving me one of his toothy grin. I gave him a chirp, I was so happy to see him again._

"_Bee you okay?" He commed me worriedly,"Did they hurt you?"_

"—_ey-I'm fi-just fin-and dandy!" I replied, trying to be the joyful mech I always pretended to be. It saddens me that I had made him worry, him of all mechs._

_And I thought my dad would have worried more._

"_You sure? Your energy signature is low..."_

_Damn it!_

"_I'm fine! – ust didn' – arged well."_

"_Don't lie to me, Bee. I know you're not… fine and bambi. Your signature speaks more, and the fact that your comm. Link is screwed doesn't appease your statement."_

_I went silent at this, God this is such a pathetic cover up._

"_Come one," Jazz said encouragingly "You can tell me, you know I gotcha back. We on the way to one of the greatest battle we would ever face, and I don't wanna go there without knowing what's wrong with you."_

'_They numbed my systems.' I slowed down. 'There was still pain' I revved my engines. 'My spark was probed.' I shook. 'None of you came for me' I accelerated._

_His energy signature screamed after me, although silent and barely noticeable to anyone, it was as loud as a human banshee to me. Cybertronians could feel it, that invisible wave of electricity flying cutting through the air, alerting the conditions of another, and it wasn't always pleasant. I could feel the anguish in him, his hurt and despair, the feelings he usually kept under control. Breaks my spark that I'm the one making him feel this way, making him feel pain._

_And yet knowing that, he still chased after me._

"_Bee… come on. I just need to know." Jazz said a little more quietly._

_I don't want him to know. "What's – it t – ou?" That sounded a lot curter than I intended it to be. He faltered, I felt him faltering. It hurt me, more than it hurt him. But I don't want him to know, can't let him know. _

I'm dying.

"_Bumblebee… please?"_

_He spoke so softly, using my full name, pleading. My mind stopped running as I struggled slightly at his voice, this voice that made my anger vanished completely. I was gobble smacked._

_Jazz rarely _begs_ for anything. _

_If we weren't in our alt mode, his sad face would make me go on my knees and tell him all my hurt and troubles. But I couldn't. I love him too much to make his growing anxiety worse._

_After a long straining silence, I finally spoke. "Seriousl—t's nothi—deceptic—an do wors—hings." My voice is a little too gentle for my liking. I know he doesn't believe me. How could he after that? But I won't let him know_

_Yet I steered close to him until we were just inches from touching._

"_Everyth—nna be—alright."_

_I was so ready to die that day, I never thought that anyone had felt the same way I have._

_Especially him._

**0o0o0**

Dead. He's dead. Lifeless. Gone. _Murdered_.

Everything didn't turned out _alright_.

He left. He's not here anymore. _He's never coming back._

* * *

"Bumblebee."

Ratchet said softly while shaking the yellow mech on the birth.

"Hey, Bumblebee" He shook the mech harder this time.

"Bee!"

He shook and shook, but the mech won't do so much but a small groan.

Ratchet gave one more exasperated shake and slumped beside the still sleeping form, "Primus damn you Bee! Wake up already!"

Silence and dimness became his friend as the tired sun began to disappear behind the mountain. The autumn wind cools the room from the open window, the breeze brushing the medic's gloom face, optics shutting off. The day has come to an end and Bumblebee is still in stasis. He then began poking at the yellow head, just hoping it would emit something from the scout.

"He's still not awake?" A voice suddenly said behind him.

"No." That made the black mech sigh, "He's still as lifeless as that brain of yours."

At those words, Ironhide gave a slap at the snickering medic. "And you're still as stubborn and senile as a female organic having their monthly menstruation." Ratchet pouted at being called a femme and refrained himself from losing his temper. That would only prove that statement.

The medic just gave him a pfft and walked over to a counter, the black mech in tow. Ratchet took out various objects and a few coloured serums and began mixing it. Ironhide gave an imitation of a cough "Well anyways," he said as he leaned his shoulders against the wall, "How are you gonna tell Prime 'bout this?"

Ratchet slowed at what he's doing, "Well he's not back from Peru yet." He said and inspects the blue liquid slowly turning a shade of pink. "I'd say we have a little more time to get him back to normal. Bumblebee's systems should be stable enough by then."

The black mech scoffed, "Let's just hope that little time of yours is enough. 'Cuz he's on his way back so to speak."

"When had he left?" the medic said while heating the vile.

"A few cycles before I went to see you."

"I see," He stopped shaking the test tube, the serum turned to a bright shade of yellowish green, "Then we definitely have enough time left."

"You're so sure of yourself." Ironhide said, not amused.

Ratchet finished storing the solution in a compartment on his arm and turned to Ironhide, a small smile plastered on his face, "Of course I am dear."

The weapon specialist opened his mouth to retort but found that couldn't, as the medic's lip covered his own. Before he had come to realize the kiss, Ratchet had already moved away from him. "If I'm not, you wouldn't have been able to met me."

Ironhide blinked a couple of times, surprised at the kiss his bondmate gave him. Seconds past and his surprise turn to delight. He gave a lopsided grin to the medic and laughed, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him against his broad chest.

"You really were stupid for answering back at me." The black mech said, staring at the loving azure optics before him. "And now, you're stuck with me." That made Ratchet laugh as he placed his hands on Ironhide's cheek plates, and pulled him closer to his face.

* * *

"Couldn't be happier."

_Okay… one more time._

He injected the recently made serum into the yellow mech's arm, its yellow-green content sinking into the main energon line. Bumblebee twitched and stirred, and for a moment it seemed that he was going to wake. That is when he suddenly flopped over to his belly and started doing and imitation of human snoring. Ratchet held himself from pushing the scout off the berth.

He tried a much gentler approach, "Bumblebee, come on. You can't sleep forever."

A groan met him, and the baby blue optics of the scout finally sparked dimly online, meeting a worn out azure ones.

"Hey, wake up. You've slept enough. Anymore and you'll be jetlagged again."

Bumblebee blinks slowly as the medic laughed slightly, his groggy systems booting up slowly, but the gentle voice of the medic seems to coax him back to sleep.

"Come on, on your feet, I don't have all day to keep watch of your smelly yellow carcass you know." Ratchet suddenly said dryly, gentleness replaced by crankiness.

So much for sleeping…

"Ahha, yeah I'm up." Bumblebee groaned out sheepishly, gaze roaming to see where he is, "How long have I..?"

"29 hours and 42 minutes. I had to keep you here because you were in stasis lock from the lack of energy. Primus, you know how much you've worried us?" Ratchet said while helping Bumblebee get up.

"What exactly… happened to me? Why am I here?"

Ratchet fidgeted for a moment, thinking back on that unfortunate time. "Well to put it bluntly, your processor overheated." The scout tilted his head in confusion. "You were thinking too hard, the capacity of your processor was overloaded with data you were rummaging through. The lack of food in your tanks just sped the process."

Oh that was such a wrong question to ask. Bumblebee stared blankly at the floor, rebooting his whole system while recalling that midnight event. He rubbed his sore head, trying to process all the information Ratchet blurted out in one breath.

"What?"

Ratchet put on a face, obviously troubled at what he's about to say.

"You saw him."

Bumblebee's optics flashed in confusion

Him? Which him? There's a lot of hims. Which one is he referring to?

He then squints as he tried to remember, Ratchet only stared expectantly. His gaze traveled and he saw the cabinet. There was a snap in his processors, and he mentally slaps himself.

_Oh that him_.

Bumblebee visibly stiffens, finally remembering. Systems suddenly lashed awake, his processor taking in information much more than it can, his optics turning off and on and he shook hard.

"Bumblebee stop it!" Ratchet shouted as he slaps the young mech. "Do that again and your personality chip will fritz. I don't know about you but I'm definitely not taking care of your retardation."

"Bu-but..!" The scout was at loss of what to say.

"But nothing!" Ratchet snapped before he was able to say more. "I told you to stay put and not to touch _anything_. But did you listen to me? No! You prance around _my_ med bay, hacking a console that practically screams **KEEP OUT** and passed out just before I can slap you senseless!" The irked medic took a long, deep breath, body shuttering from his outburst, and let out an even bigger breath. "I mean honestly, when do you young mechs ever listen these days?"

Without Ratchet's notice, Bumblebee's own body has started shaking on it's own accord, fear and regret finally catching him with their slimy, wet fingers.

"Can you really blame me for that?

Ratchet stopped his ranting, temper wavering as he saw the scout's sad eyes. "Yes, I can." The medic sighed and walked over to the scout and hugged him. "But then again, you never listened to me. Should've known better. You're such a curious cat you know? The ones that always get killed every time they are." Bumblebee snorted at that. "Speaking of which, how many live do you have left anyways?"

"I don't know. About… four I guess."

Ratchet chortled at the reply. "Out of how many lives?"

"…How long does a cybercat live?"

"7 vorns."

They didn't talk after that, Ratchet relished the embrace they shared, to a mech he deemed as his own child. He smiled, the innocence Bumblebee has is still there, it wasn't taken or corrupted by war like so many has been. And Bumblebee took comfort in him, like he had a long time ago.

"I see you two had fun."

They both jerked at the sudden intrusion. Ironhide stood at the front of the door, looking amused with a hint of jealousy. The medic groaned at his bondmate, feeling the possessive tug in his spark the black mech gave through the bond. "Yeah we sure did." He murmured sarcastically and separated himself from the yellow mech. Ironhide and Ratchet were silent for a few moments, talking through their private bond. Bumblebee was overcome by the feeling of awkwardness to be between them. He silently got off the berth and inched away from the two glaring bots.

It wasn't long before Ironhide's unnoticeable stoic features soften and gave him an apologetic grin, Ratchet huffed and folded his arms on his chestplate. The weapon specialist walked over while coughing and rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, trying to disperse the silence.

"Well, anyways. Prime just happens to have arrived with the rest of the troops in the hangar. He wants a full debrief from everyone. All designated 'bots are required to be present." He finished his announcement and turned to look at the yellow mech, more or less the reason to avoid optic contact with his lover. "You feeling alright kid?"

Bumblebee gave him a light shrug, feeling the exhaustion etching towards his system. "His systems are fully operational, but his fuel tanks are still low." Ratchet answered the question before the scout could say anything. He then gave Bumblebee two cubes of mid-grade. "Better hurry and drink up, you need your strength."

It was more of a command than a request. He gave a long last look at Bumblebee before walking out the door. The scout shrugged again and started drinking the first cube with haste, finally having something in his tanks. "Try not to let Optimus wait too long." Ironhide said as he watched the green-yellow mech went and turned to look at Bumblebee. "And be sure not to mention anything that happened yesterday." The yellow mech nodded, his optics flashed in understanding. With that Bumblebee was left alone to refill himself. Sighing inwardly, he gulped down the second cube of pink liquid. Yesterday night's mishap is on his mind, his earlier thoughts and feelings arises and as he got up from the medical table his head turned to the place of the console, to find that it was gone.

He knew that he came at the most unsuitable timing for the medic. He made a guess that Ratchet usually worked on it, on him, at that particular time. Where least activities are done and less witnesses are around. Who knew what different fate resides if he hadn't been hungry, if he hadn't made that mad dash at the end, if he hadn't found that console.

Jazz.

He turned his head to the hidden opening. His spark quenched and his newly fed tanks felt nauseous.

He's still in there.

Bumblebee hurriedly went out, leaving a half empty cube in its wake.

**0o0o0**

Something is wrong with him. I noticed.

The glint on his eyes is different. The laugh he gave is false. The smile he shows hides a deeper meaning. I see him being happy, but I feel his depression. Something is in his mind. He doesn't look the same. He doesn't look at _me_ the same way. But his appearance, his voice, his outlook, his _charm_, is as Bumblebee as he could be. But still, it was never easy finding an old friend different.

Although his nature is still him, I have a feeling it'll change.

I sat next to him, he snapped out of his daze. I asked, he didn't answer. I looked at him, he avoided me. I stood silent, and he spoke.

"Arcee? Is it strange that I… that I dream about the dead?"

* * *

**A/N**: Swear to you there will be no bashing.


End file.
